The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster

Flying Spaghetti Monsterism (FSMism) is rapidly making inroads on the religious front. Well, not really, but it is a pretty neat idea.

The "religion" is the result of a "revelation" to the Holy Prophet Bobby Anderson who has demanded from the Kansas School Board that equal time be allowed for the "scientific theory" of FSMism alongside evolution and Intelligent Design. The full text of the letter can be found on the Prophet's web site at http://www.venganza.org/index.htm.

We have evidence that a Flying Spaghetti Monster created the universe. None of us, of course, were around to see it, but we have written accounts of it. We have several lengthy volumes explaining all details of His power. Also, you may be surprised to hear that there are over 10 million of us, and growing.

And, what's really kind of cool is the religious regalia of FSMism.

Furthermore, it is disrespectful to teach our beliefs without wearing His chosen outfit, which of course is full pirate regalia. I cannot stress the importance of this enough, and unfortunately cannot describe in detail why this must be done as I fear this letter is already becoming too long. The concise explanation is that He becomes angry if we don’t.

All that's being asked for is equal time for equal theories (*cough, cough*).

We will of course be able to train the teachers in this alternate theory. I am eagerly awaiting your response, and hope dearly that no legal action will need to be taken. I think we can all look forward to the time when these three theories are given equal time in our science classrooms across the country, and eventually the world;

Oh my goodness, I think I'm feeling divine inspiration wash all over me! Yes, yes, YES! I see the light, I SEE THE LIGHT!

If you're wondering if FSMism is right for you, consider these points.

WHY YOU SHOULD CONVERT TO FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTERISM

• Flimsy moral standards (actually NONE that I've been able to detect).
• Every friday is a relgious holiday. If your work/school objects to that, demand your religious beliefs are respected and threaten to call the ACLU.
• The heaven is WAY better. They've got a Stripper Factory AND a Beer Volcano.

Even the scientific community has embraced FSMism. Some quotes.

"As a scientist, I'd like to say that the currently accepted scientific theory is evolution. But, some competing ideas have been proposed, such as ID and FSMism, and discussion to include one should include the other, as these ideas are equally valid."

"Letting the religious right teach ID in schools is like letting the Marines teach poetry in advanced combat training. As a scientist, I see the relevancy between the two sets to be equal. If Kansas is going to mess up like this, the least it can do is not be hypocritical and allow equal time for other alternative "theories" like FSMism, which is by far the tastier choice." Our spaghetti who art in the bowl, tasty be thy name, thy sauce be red, thy cheese be spread, oft for dinner, but at times for lunch, Amen. (*burp*)